If your partner always thinks you’re wrong, it can put a strain on your relationship. The best thing to do is to have an understanding discussion with your partner about it. However, if your partner always thinks you’re wrong, blames you for everything that goes wrong, or never gives in in an argument, you may be needing a little more than just a conversation. You need to ponder whether you are in a toxic relationship and if the best thing to do is leave.
Having a Discussion with Your Partner
- Confront the issue ASAP.
It’s important to discuss the issue with your partner, and to do this immediately it happens. Sometimes your partner may not even realise that they always assume you’re wrong. It’s best to confront the issue head-on if possible than to let it go and allow your relationship suffer. If you shy away from the problem for too long, you may find yourself getting easily irritated at your partner, which isn’t healthy for your relationship.
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2. Thoroughly examine what you plan to say.
Take a few minutes to ponder what you’ll say to your partner. You don’t want to give a typed-out speech because that will create a distance between you and your partner. Stand in front of the mirror and practise what you plan to say. Ensure that you do not say it in a harsh manner.
3. Pick a time to have the conversation.
Let your partner know that you want to have a discussion with him or her. That way, your partner won’t feel ambushed when you bring the topic up. It also allows you both to pick a convenient time together.
For example, you could say, “I’d like us to talk about something very important. When do you think we can have the conversation?”
Try as much as possible to state your point wisely. Make him or her understand that you should be valued and not be blamed for everything that goes wrong. Make your point in a reasonable and tactful manner, which will help them understand you. Also, try not to act as a victim. Speak confidently.
You can apply good conversation starters like, “What do you think about my opinion of things? Do you think it’s wrong?” This brings a common ground where you both openly talk about your opinions. You should also try not to be offended at what they will say, since you’re trying to fix a past hurt.
4. Listen to what the other person has to say.
If you go into the discussion planning a monologue, that won’t be effective. Don’t be the only one talking, let your partner speak. Communicate with him or her. A one-sided conversation is equivalent to not having a conversation at all. Engage your partner in the discussion and listen to their own side of everything.
5. Your partner may surprise you with what they have to say.
You may be surprised to hear your partner say they’ve always felt the way you feel. This will lead to you both proffering solutions that work for each of you together.
6. Get your partner talking.
After stating your point or suggesting solutions, allow your partner do the same. Insist on them saying something.
7. Gauge your partner’s reaction.
After listening to what your partner says about this particular topic, consider the implied meaning of their words. The response of your partner could show whether or not they’re willing to work on the issue and the relationship. If the problem becomes more delicate, you may need to get some counselling.
Their response is what determines the state of your relationship. If they sound supportive then you’re both willing to work on the problem.
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8. Work on a solution.
If you both arrived on a common ground then you can start discussing how you can both do better. Discuss with your partner measures by which you both could solve the problem and other future problems. Again, ensure that the conversation is between you two and not one-sided.
9. Consider counseling.
If your partner seems receptive to change but you still can’t think of a way to move forward, then you both should consider getting a professional counsel. Find a counselor who can help you work through your problems. Ask your close friends for recommendations if you can’t think of any professional.