The thing about being with someone who is conventionally attractive
Truth be told, everyone like a conventionally attractive date. I mean, who doesn’t?
Being conventionally attractive means having a look that is along the lines of the society’s ideals of good looks. It is a cultural look and differs from one person to another, just as people from different places have different aesthetic norms.
For instance, in Europe and North America, the tall, blonde, blue-eyed, Victoria’s Secret Angel-type person would be conventionally attractive for a woman; the dark-haired, two-day-old beard, perfectly coiffed hair, tall and athletic would be conventionally attractive for a man.
In Nigeria, conventional attractiveness is a youthful, cute look with a certain type of oval face, light skin, curvy body for women and toned build and full beard for men. It is easy to identify these standards of conventional beauty by looking to the media to see what is promoted as ‘attractive’: who is featured on the covers of magazines? What kind of faces adorn the front advertising campaigns for ‘beauty’ products?
Believe it or not, attraction is important for a happy and healthy relationship. And this has nothing to do with vanity. Having a date that meets these standards tends to make you both experience certain unique drawbacks and pros, whether or not you are attractive yourself.
Imagine that you and your attractive date go for dinner at a new restaurant where there are many people hanging around, then you notice several other diners (especially those of opposite sex) noticing your beautiful date. This happens to the point that one of them even walks up to you two and tries to flirt with your date in the name of small talk. Um… Rude?
It’s even worse if you’re not conventionally attractive yourself. People begin to call you shallow and plastic regardless of why you are with him. Let’s say you’re not with him because of his looks or you do not care what others think, you find that it becomes a sort of stigma that sticks with you.
When you eventually breakup with the attractive guy, your friends will then begin to set you up with people who have the same type of conventional look as your ex, or they let you know that they can’t help you since you are difficult to please, vain, and only like pretty people.
Also, being beautiful isn’t cheap. Most people (both male and female) who meet the conventional beauty standards spend a lot on maintenance. Of course, some are naturally beautiful and like to keep it on the low-key, but a larger percentage feel the need to work extra hard to stay that attractive.
This means the woman may need the time and funds for body treatments, skin care, hair maintenance, shopping, etcetera. The man may need to go to the spa or salon for manscaping and grooming, work out at the gym, etcetera.
The less conventionally attractive a person is, the more likely he/she is to work on other areas of their life. But the conventionally attractive already have an impressive look, so they do not feel any pressure to develop other areas of their life.
They usually do not feel the need to put in any effort to service the relationship or even take commitment seriously. Matter of fact, some of this conventionally attractive people are cheats. They would not want to take their time to spice up your sex life as a couple, so they leave it on a minimal level. They do not see the need to bring their A-game.
Perhaps what makes it harder to overlook these drawback is the fact that these people can be so proud. They know they are attractive, and they wear it on their sleeves. They begin to feel entitled, can be selfish and lack empathy. This is based on what most of them have displayed.
Dating a conventionally attractive person is not always so gloomy, though. There are some pros to it. If nothing else, you get the pleasure of having a super sexy and attractive person eat at your side all the time, and that is an achievement. There is also the hallo effect it has on you: because you are with an attractive person, people begin to see you as attractive also, even if you are not.
There is also the boost in your ego: your date is the all-in-one package, and he/she chose to be with you! This has a way of boosting your ego and making you feel amazing. And if you both get married you will certainly have good-looking kids. While being conventionally attractive isn’t necessarily genetic, many of those features you find attractive are genetic.
Conventionally attractive people tend to come with the perks and VIP treatment as well. They get a lot of attention and preferential treatment due to their looks, and they can make it easier to get a discount at a store, get free drink at a club, land a good table at a great restaurant, e.t.c.